AKA H. G. Wells’ Food of the Gods



1976, Directed by Bert I. Gordon

“Where does fiction end and reality begin?” Hint: Reality begins after all the giant chickens have gone.

Trailer Club favourite and size disparity specialist Bert I. Gordon presents another tale of wrongly-dimensioned things. Mostly big rats hassling people in shabby farmhouses, by the looks of it.

This trailer has a pretty strange format. It goes HG WELLS PROMO - BIG ANIMALS ATTACK - BIT OF TALKING - BIG ANIMALS ATTACK - BIG ANIMALS ATTACK - REQUEST FOR SEX - BIG ANIMALS ATTACK. Not sure what to make of that, to be honest.

“Will H. G. Wells most frightening prediction in ‘The Food of the Gods’ also prove accurate?” asks the voice-over bloke. As the only prediction we’ve seen is extremely silly, it’s fairly safe to say no…

Favourite bit: The giant mouse/rat at 1 minute in, which growls like a dog for some reason.

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1957, Directed by Roger Corman
Attack of the Crab Monsters seems to do exactly what the title implies…

B-Movie maestro Roger Corman provides giant crab-related shocks on a remote island. And the crabs look pretty good, considering it was made fifty years ago on a tiny budget.

Something not obvious from the trailer is that the crabs talk, and apparently one has a French accent. It’s got to be worth a watch if only for that.

Favourite bit: All the parts with the giant crabs.

IMDB LINK

1965, Directed by Bert I. Gordon

Bloody teenagers - always drinking magic potions, growing to huge proportions and taking over villages. Back in my day we were content to be werewolves.

Unlike most real-life experimental drug trials, the kids don’t seem to suffer any negative side effects. Well, apart from the way they move v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y.

Apparently Happy Days veteran and big-shot director Ron Howard plays the genius who makes the growth potion, but I couldn’t spot him in the trailer. Interestingly, this film was directed by Bert I. Gordon who seemed to specialise in making movies where things were too big or small. He was probably a midget or a basketball player.

Favourite bit: The ridiculously spindly fake giant legs which the woman on the motorbike winds a rope around.

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SPECIAL BONUS CLIP: This scene really has to be seen…

AKA Six Inches Tall, The Fantastic Puppet People



1958, Directed by Bert I. Gordon

A mad scientist makes up for his lack of a loving relationship by making people very small, then killing them. He’d be better off just going to a nightclub or something. I know the drinks are expensive but he’d be saving a fortune on electricity for his bizarre gadgets.

I imagine the special effects were quite good for the time this movie was released. Not sure how they’d stand up to being on a huge screen rather than a tiny box on the internet, though.

Favourite bit: The shrieking woman terrified by a large telephone.

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AKA Rabbits



1972, Directed by William F. Claxton

Giant mutant rabbits - The worst nightmare of a lettuce farmer. Pity they don’t actually show you any in the trailer. (Giant rabbits, not lettuce farmers. Although frankly any addition would be an improvement.)

Would this strangely empty trailer actually convince anyone to watch the film? It shows nothing of interest except a few corpses and a scared truck driver. And that effect with the repeating rabbit’s eyes is really overdone.

There are actually some famous people in this one! Prolific leading man Stuart Whitman, slightly less prolific leading man Rory Calhoun, Psycho shower victim Janet Leigh, and the mighty DeForest Kelly - the Star Trek actor with the most ecologically unsound name. I have no idea how they ended up in this. I can’t imagine a horror movie featuring bunny rabbits was a popular script.

Pointless coincidence trivia: Paul Fix, who plays the Sheriff, took the part of the medical officer in the second pilot for Star Trek. The medical officer in the full series was, of course, ‘Bones’ McCoy - played by DeForest Kelly.

Favourite bit: When the voice-over carefully pronounces ‘mutant’ as “mew-tant”, which is how it was pronounced in cheapo sci-fi classic This Island Earth.

IMDB LINK

1959, Directed by Ray Kellogg

Shrews are tiny little rodents with a slightly amusing name. Who thought it would be a good idea to make a film about how terrifying they are? Apparently Jay Simms did, as he wrote this.

The special effects really let this one down. The giant killer shrews are obviously just dogs with rugs thrown over them, and the model used for the close-up is unbelievably bad. I did like the shrieking sounds, though. And how can you not love a film which contains the line “The shrews were out there! I couldn’t take the chance!”

Also: I presume the word “What” is missing from the very start of this trailer. Although as it stands, “Could be more terrifying” is a fairly accurate description.

Favourite bit: The close-up of the Killer Shrew’s face as it comes through a door. Classic.

IMDB LINK