Wow, that’s a mighty over-long and silent logo sequence at the start.
Italian gore-meister Lucio Fulci turns his hand to swords and sorcery with a kind of Diet Conan offering. People fall down in water and sticks are blocked with bits of string, all to a very eighties synth soundtrack. Sadly we’re not treated to any of the over the top gore effects that contributed to the film’s 18 certificate.
So as far as I can make out plot-wise: The heroes need to defeat a female, semi-naked snake-charming Destro from GI Joe. And they do this by getting hold of the Ranger’s bow from the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. I approve.
I’m slightly worried by the Charles Manson-seque symbol tattooed into the hero’s forehead, though.
Favourite bit: The juddery bow flying into the chap’s hand at the start.
I’m getting the distinct impression that no woman will dare go home alone after seeing Corruption. Maybe they could have given a hint as to what the film was about rather than repeating that over and over, interspersed with screaming.
This is one of the lower quality horror movies that Peter Cushing appeared in during the sixties. Apparently the plot is actually similar to the classic French horror Eyes without a Face - A woman has been disfigured facially and a ‘mad doctor’ murders other women in a bid to cure her.
What a terrible trailer. All hyperbole and no actual information.
Favourite bit: The bearded man drooling rice pudding. IMDB LINK
The Colossus of New York
1958, Directed by Eugène Lourié
Wow, this ticks all the fifties monster movie boxes. A dour scientist, an inhuman brute carrying an unconscious woman, breaking glass, laser beams - it’s all here. I’m not sure what the deal is with the people standing around on a giant chessboard, though.
Some idiot decides to put some poor sod’s brain in a big metal robot thing, and the next thing you know it’s on a rampage. And has somehow acquired the ability to shoot lasers out of it’s eyes. But remember, this may soon become science fact!
Isn’t a colossus supposed to be an absolutely gigantic statue? As opposed to about 7 foot tall like the one shown here? Maybe it got special dispensation because of the eye lasers.
Against all odds, though, I think this movie looks like it might be quite good. Am I mad? Probably.
Favourite bit: The wonderfully over-the-top piano music. IMDB LINK
The Dark
AKA The Mutilator
1979, Directed by John Cardos
I always thought that zombies shooting laser beams from their eyes would be the coolest thing in the world. Seems I was wrong.
You won’t be surprised to discover that this nonsense was originally a straightforward zombie movie. Apparently early audiences hated it so much that the studio removed most of the zombies, added laser beams and tried to pass it off as science fiction. Doesn’t look like the changes helped the quality much.
Did you recognise Casey Kasem, who provides the voice of Shaggy from Scooby Doo, as the Police expert? I can only hope that in the full movie he sees the zombie, shouts “Zoiks!”, escapes by disguising himself as a French chef, then eats a giant sandwich in one bite.
Favourite bit: The nonsensical voice-over at the start.
